The Stories We Tell Ourselves

We know storytelling is a great leadership skill for engaging and influencing others.  However, there is also a growing body of research on how to harness the power of our inner narratives:  

Use a Redemptive Rear View Mirror 

The stories we recount about our past have a powerful impact on our memories and behaviors. Psychologist Jonathan Adler's research highlights three habits that build resiliency and emotional strength as you reminisce:

• Recalling both the positive and negative aspects of past situations.
• Seeing negative events from your past as external events ("That speech didn't go over well," rather than "I'm not a good presenter.")
• Identifying how you have grown stronger and more effective as a result of your experiences.

Regulate with Reframing     

When you get emotionally triggered by a challenging situation, find a plausible but more positive way to view what's happening.  The research on this practice ("reframing") has confirmed significant benefits.  Psychologists Gross and John grouped hundreds of people based on whether they tended to use reframing or suppression (pretending everything's fine) to deal with strong emotions.  They compared the two groups on factors including optimism, environmental mastery and positive relationships.  On every factor, those who reframed were significantly better off than those who suppressed. 

Forecast Your Successes

Envision how you will be successful over the next few years. The more you revisit this story of what your future will look, sound, feel, smell and even taste like, the clearer it becomes.  Replaying this movie in your mind helps you recognize and act on choices that support it.

"Mental imagery impacts many cognitive processes in the brain: motor control, attention, perception, planning, and memory," says researcher Angie LeVan. "It's been found that mental practices can enhance motivation, increase confidence and self-efficacy, improve motor performance, prime your brain for success, and increase states of flow."

This awareness of what you're telling yourself, and how balanced but empowering your narratives are, is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the better your story can become.

Stress, Mindfulness and the Executive Brain

Stop for just a moment and take everything in, within and around you, noticing without judging. This is mindfulness.   

The NeuroLeadership Institute refers to mindfulness as "direct experience," focusing on the brain circuitry activated when you're being mindful.  Think of it as being a video recorder or a sensory satellite receiving dish.

So why is mindfulness important to leaders?   

Well, many workplaces create high levels of stress. Stress can trigger our "threat" circuitry ... quickly ramping up our "fight or flight" response ... simultaneously shutting down our prefrontal cortex (PFC), or executive brain. 

The PFC is where higher ordered thinking, like judgement, creativity and complex decision-making, occur.  Best to avoid shutting it down when possible. 

For most of us, our opportunity to "hit the brakes" as we experience a threat is fleeting.  Why?  Because these brakes are located IN the PFC! 

This is where mindfulness comes in.  Research has shown that those with a strong "direct experience" network have stronger braking systems and are better able to manage a "threat" state.  This translates into better access to the executive brain functions located in your PFC.  

"But I don't have time to meditate," you exclaim.  

That's OK. 

You can strengthen your direct experience network just about anywhere, any time: walking to a meeting, on a train, at a traffic light, during lunch, upon waking....  

Simply spend a few minutes noticing everything you're sensing, internally and externally, without judging.   

You can start small (a daily minute or two) and build from there. One study showed a dramatic improvement after practicing mindfulness for 20 minutes a day for only FIVE days. 

So if you want to work at your highest cognitive levels, take advantage of those fleeting moments and turn them into mindfulness moments.

[With thanks to this post's guest author, Paul McGinniss of the NeuroLeadership Group] 

Getting Into A Better Frame of Mind

Think of a time when you handled a challenging situation exceptionally well... what kind of mood were you in as you did so?

Now think of a time when you responded poorly to a challenging situation  ... what kind of mood where you in then?

When I ask these questions, words like “confident,” “interested” and “engaged” are often used to describe the mood during the first situation.

And negative or extreme words like “anxious,” “angry,” or “excited” describe the mood during the second situation.

click here for a larger image

We know our moods impact our thinking, but what can we do about it?

Neuroscience, and the experts at the NeuroLeadership Group, tells us that we tend to do our best thinking when we’re in a slightly positive state.  

When the limbic system (where emotions rule) gets too fired up, we’re more likely to respond negatively, depend on automatic thinking and see connections where there are none.

Negative and extremely positive emotions trigger a limbic response that overrides our pre frontal cortex  - the “executive function” of our brains where decision making, new insights and problem solving occur.

This is a simple explanation of a complex function, but it’s enough to help us recognize the importance of shifting our thinking when we start to get too “fired up.”

There are some familiar techniques that help, like

• Reordering the situation:  “In the scheme of life, where does this fit?”
• Or repositioning it:  “How would (insert name of admirable person) handle this?”

I’ve also seen a less familiar technique, taught by the NeuroLeadership Group, work exceptionally well.  Ask:

• What one word would you use to describe how you feel about this situation?
• How would you rather feel?
• What’s another way to look at the situation that would bring you closer to feeling that way?

Using these questions in an internal dialogue can literally put you in a better frame of mind.