Regifting is an enduring leadership practice that resonates as the holidays approach. It involves two simple steps:
Recognize when someone does something that inspires you do do your best.
Find a way to apply that approach with someone else.
The interesting thing about this practice is that it benefits you as much as others.
Recognizing when someone treats you in a way that brings out your best means that you're paying attention to leadership style - therefore increasing the odds that you continuously develop yours.
Finding ways to apply that positive approach with someone else increases your track record of, and reputation for, positive leadership practices.
If you like this form of regifting, you can also apply it on an annual basis:
Each December, make a point of recalling high-points from the prior eleven months, and who helped to make them happen.
Share these recollections with those that come to mind, and thank them.
This appreciative tradition extends the impact of the high-points, creating a positive ripple effect.
Speaking of high points, thank you continuing to find ways to be a more innovative and effective leader throughout 2013 -
Working as a coach at a conference on
"Mentors, Sponsors and Breaking the Glass Ceiling Through Our
Allies," I met a lively group of smart trailblazers.
Reginald Van Lee, EVP at Booz Allen
Hamilton, was a memorable one. Warm and witty in person, he
accomplished what many struggle with once they reach the podium: making
his points in a concise, consumable way.
He recommended that ground
breaking leaders of all types cultivate their
"4 Cs":
COURAGE:
to excel, to be different.
COMPETENCE:
you need to be exceptionally competent when you're trying to accomplish
what few that look, act or think like you do. Accept this and press on.
CONFIDENCE:
to attend excellent schools, vie for new roles, pursue powerful
relationships. Don't wait for permission - show up and lead.
COLLABORATION:
you can't do it alone - consciously create alliances. Talk to someone new
often. Your network expands your value.
Paula Madison, CEO of the Los Angeles Sparks,
was equally forthright and compelling. Some of her comments echoed
similar themes:
Be bold. "Courage
and comfort are not in the same room."
Be an expert, and claim your
accomplishments. "I'm proud to be a different kind of leader, a different
kind of woman."
Advocate for yourself. No one will care more about your
career than you do - you can't expect others to do more for you than you do for
yourself.
Attend carefully to feedback. Feedback tells you how you're
showing up.
The audience was energized by these kinds of
unvarnished, hard-earned perspectives. If you were to give your own
"straight talk" on pointers for pioneering leaders, what would you
include?
Your phone buzzes as you pull onto the highway. Are you more likely to think,
"I can't read texts while I'm driving."
or
"I don't read texts while I'm driving."
Several interesting studies coming out of Boston College and the University of Houston revealed the impact of using "I can't" versus "I don't." In one study of 30 adults with health and fitness goals:
10 participants were not given a strategy.
10 were told to use "I can't" statements when they were tempted to slip (for example, "I can't skip work-outs.")
10 were told to use "I don't" statements when they were tempted to slip (for example, "I don't skip work-outs.")
After 10 days
In the group that wasn't given a strategy, three of the 10 were still working on their goals.
In the "I can't" group, only one of the 10 was still working on her goal.
In the "I don't" group, eight of the 10 participants were still working on their goals.
The study participants then received daily emails asking how well they were doing with their goals. Heidi Grant Halvorson, Director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia University explains: "I don't" is experienced as a choice, so it feels empowering. It's an affirmation of your determination and willpower. "I can't" isn't a choice. It's a restriction, it's being imposed upon you. So thinking "I can't" undermines your sense of power and personal agency." Want to resist distractions and temptation? Working on an important goal? Whenever you catch yourself veering off course, try reminding yourself that "I don't...." It's a small strategy that can make a big difference.
I have a great feeling about this particular team. The demands of working for the second largest bank in the world can be relentless, but they leverage strengths like:
- working with very bright people
- a palpable commitment to high quality work
- deep technical expertise
- and being extremely capable of delivering.
They also face challenges faced by many executive teams in large companies, like:
- sustaining a shared clarity about the big picture
- culling myopic or reactive execution practices
- navigating the growing size and complexity of their organization
- and working smarter rather than harder.
So why am I so optimistic about their ability to excel?
Because in the midst of yet another hard charging week, they exercised a discipline that helps Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, and other business notables out-lead, out-innovate and out-sustain the competition. They took time out to think together.
As Jeff Weiner, CEO of LinkedIn, wrote: "...if you don't take the time to think proactively you will increasingly find yourself reacting to your environment rather than influencing it. The resulting situation will inevitably require far more time (and meetings) than thinking strategically would have to begin with."
Regularly carving out time to think is an essential but often elusive practice. So how can you turn this good intention into a sustainable habit?
Here are three approaches to consider:
Recognize the stigma of the alternative
"Uber-busy" used to infer "uber-important." Increasingly, too busy is viewed as the new lazy. Double parking appointments and running flat out through limitless days can make others question your commitment to high quality work. As one 360 feedback source asked, "If he can't manage his schedule, how is he managing our function?"
Curate your commitments
In other words, find ways to say no so that you can say yes. What is it time for you to let go of, so that you have the bandwidth to do something better? Spending more of your day doing what only you can do increases the odds that you're utilizing your teams well.
Design your time
Think about what doing your best work looks like. Then find ways to link elements of the approach in this video to creating a habit of working that way:
I get a kick out of being around people who are smart in different ways than I am - who have different kinds of interests and ambitions and impacts. It's invigorating to be around this capacity and learn from these mindsets and skills. Which means that I'm very lucky - because as an executive coach I work daily with accomplished learners and leaders who like to work as hard as I do. They keep me constantly aware of how much more is possible. Many times my work feels like a celebration: of what my clients have learned and achieved and given to others - and how much more they will going forward.
So this Quick Note will be my toast to them and to you:
Here's to the game changers
the ones who persist in finding a better way
and engaging others in making it happen.
Here's to the connectors
who build networks that go up, down, sideways, and diagonally;
who network to learn new perspectives and make new connections
and who make sure that they give more than take along the way.
Here's to the long gamers
who've learned that you can often get what you want - but maybe not quite in the way you thought you would;
who know that if it's a worthwhile goal you persevere until you make it happen.
Because living other people's goals doesn't work, but joining forces to meet a common goal does.
Here's to the listeners
who understand how much more there is to really hear,
who know how to draw out what others have to offer,
and who make make time to listen for their own wisdom.
Here's to those that surprise themselves
with what they realize they've accomplished;
and then get curious, and then determined
and ready to find out what they'll learn as they take on their next challenge.
