Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Get a Grip on the Griping


Blamestorming can be seductive.  It's so pervasive that DIRECTV did a memorable spot on it.  It's just easier, not to mention self protective, to blame anyone but yourself for problems.  

Used judiciously, critical analysis reduces risks and improves ideas.  Used maliciously (for example, showing how smart you are by tearing down other's ideas) criticism saps energy, initiative and innovation. 

Whether it's a tolerated form of competitive positioning, a result of frustration, or simply a bad habit, the temptation to blame, vent and criticize is understandable.

And toxic.

So how to get a grip on the griping?

Here are three practices executives I've worked with have used productively: 

Refocus critical commentsDiane Sawyer noticed that, "Criticism is just a really bad way of making a request.  So why not just make the request?"  Or, when someone else brings a criticism or complaint to you, shift the focus by asking what they want instead.

Check your intentionMarshall Goldsmith recommends asking yourself three kinds of questions before voicing a complaint:  "Who will this comment help?  Is this comment the best way to help them?  Do I really believe what I'm about to say?"

Respect and practice the power of the positive. Shawn Achor researches positive outliers - people who are well above average.  He found that "...only 25 percent of job successes are predicted by I.Q. 75 percent of job successes are predicted by your optimism levels, your social support and your ability to see stress as a challenge instead of as a threat.... If you can raise somebody's level of positivity in the present, then their brain experiences what we now call a happiness advantage, which is your brain at positive performs significantly better than it does at negative, neutral or stressed. Your intelligence rises, your creativity rises, your energy levels rise. In fact, what we've found is that every single business outcome improves."